I haven't posted because my thoughts have not come yet.
I can only describe it as beautiful.
Being inside all this love is a soul shifting experience.
He is everything i hoped he would be, my father.
He is warm and intelligent... interested in the world and interested in me. He doesn't seem to mind all my questions...and what is amazing is we are creating a relationship of complete honesty.
Its pretty beautiful... and i feel weightless. So much so that it is very difficult for me to bring it into words.
Im still finding little things in my head to worry about... but really its just habit.
I have completed a must do. And i feel privileged to sit in a pocket of completion and happiness.
I am so proud of myself for never giving up on my heart.
I told him that in the end i would have been ok no matter what happened or how he felt.. i just needed to know from him.
And this couldn't have gone any better.
It is almost too overwhelming. He is real... this man in my head.
I told him that i am scared about maybe getting a blood test... that if we found out he wasn't actually my biological father my entire paradigm would shift and i don't know how i would be.... he said ' well i don't know about you, but im almost 100% certain'.
He said he can see himself in me.
I cant even process how that feels.
Fucking genes :) lol. Its so funny the impact your genetic makeup can have on you.
I suppose he makes me feel more confident in being me.... that i am perfectly me :)
Couldnt have asked for a better person to get to know.
Going to get a tattoo today :)
Amanda
No comments:
Post a Comment